"I was divorced, depressed and homeless again. That's when my extreme low point happened after having to honorably leave the US Coast Guard. I felt hopeless. My sensitivity kicked into hyper drive, sending me on an emotional, backwards-spinning roller coaster.
I thought my life was over.
“Don’t worry, there’s light at the end of the tunnel,” they said.
What light? I didn’t see any. No matter what I did or tried, nothing was working. I was struggling to find myself and I was constantly fighting anxiety, stress and negative thoughts.
I was sick and tired of suffering, feeling weak and drained from everything. The chaos I went through shoved me away from joy, my family, friends and work.
I felt lost, out of control and overwhelmed. And the worst part, I felt like I couldn’t go to anyone for help. I thought I would be judged and people wouldn’t understand what I was going through. Or that they would think I was being weak, even though I knew how much strength it took to keep going every single day.
I hit rock bottom, again. I’ll never forget it.
I collapsed to the floor and sunk into an imaginary hole. As tears flowed down my eyes, something stirred within me. I was compelled to decide that night that enough was enough. No more excuses. No more victim mentality. I had to take 100% responsibility for the results I was creating in my life.
I knew it was the right thing to do, and I also knew it was going to be the hardest.
I made a defiant commitment to heal myself moving forward. That's when I decided to explore that scary, dark place inside of me. I chose to seek courageously. I wanted to listen, understand and adapt strongly.
And when I did, I felt like I saw a light...a calm, soothing inner light. I breathed it in. In that moment I realized it was there all along, I had just never paid attention to it.
That’s when my journey began of deep self discovery and the complete submission to my heart and the feelings I wanted to generate in my body everyday. I tapped into transformative meditations for self-healing and they changed my life. I focused on inner growth for self-mastery using a journal and that changed my life.
With a lot of trial and error, and I mean a lot of trial and error, I learned how to harness my sensitivity and shift my energy to thrive from within. I forced myself to create consistency and practice meditation and journaling everyday, even if I didn’t feel like it.
The compound effect of that discipline paid off more than I could imagine. I finally broke free, regained control of my mind and reactions to people and things, and I slowly started to improve the quality of my state of being and thus, my life.
It was weird as I saw my life changing, because I realized how much control I truly had over it. I became more calm, present, confident, and positive, even when the “going got tough”.
There was a resilience building inside of me that got stronger and stronger, because I chose to become someone who would be resilient under any circumstance. The more and more I worked the muscle of resilience, even though it was painful at times, the stronger it became. I felt proud of my resolve.
I found myself finally being able to live, breathing in and out healthy energy. My vitality was restored.
I want you to know that if I could go from where I was to where I am today, which is a complete 180, you can do it too.
Lastly, I realized that there is no light at the end of some imaginary tunnel. The light was actually within me, and that light is within you too.
You just have to be brave enough to seek it and let it guide you on your path of healing.
Once you learn to enter your best self in to the daily battles, you've already won! It takes work, dedication and resolve. That's what I want to help you achieve!
May you be blessed and vibe-on!"
Rev. Dr. Nelson aka Ldwain is a Veteran, Certified Alchemist, Meditation Coach and Spiritual Health Leader. He is also an Ordained Interfaith Minister with a Religious Doctorate in Philosophy & Psycho-Spiritual Therapy. With his background and practice, Ldwain has helped individuals from all walks of life permanently transform themselves in healthy & positive ways for over 10 yrs.
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